I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize