member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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