so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize