I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
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