i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize