If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
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He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
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It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize