TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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