Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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