If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize