um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
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