i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
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Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
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i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Text me some of your sweat
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize