Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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