i will never coherently bang her
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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