....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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