I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
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Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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