Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize