Someone shit on the floor
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
worst night to have a conscience
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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