I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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