I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
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Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
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you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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