what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize