U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize