Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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