I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
True strength comes from lack of pants
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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