He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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