Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize