forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
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He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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