what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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