Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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