Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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