I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Your dad touched me again.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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