I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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