So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
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After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
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I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
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