So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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