Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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