Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize