You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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