I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize