Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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