My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize