Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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