Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize