why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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