Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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