i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize