can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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