i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
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It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Randomize