Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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