just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize