were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize