Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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